FAIL/WIN

Before today, I failed miserably at life. I developed a fever last Monday which has developed into a nasty cough. Over the last 10 days, I picked numerous fights with my partner, Chris. I cried, rather sobbed, at least once almost everyday. I neglected my plans for eating vegan and healthfully, and I can't remember the last time I went running. Finally, I hadn't spoken with any family members for any length of time nor returned phone calls (including you, Aunt Polly!).

Today I my doctor told me I have bronchitis and loaded me up with antibiotics and codeine-laced cough syrup. Today (or last night) Chris and I fleshed out the root causes of our arguments and pin pointed themes. Today I spoke to my psychiatrist about the options available to me. Today, I called my stepdad to settle plans for Thanksgiving and spoke with my sister for almost 45 minutes. Today I am blogging to reach out to my extended family and friends.

I know other people grieve too but I find it virtually impossible to pick up the phone when I most need it. Frankly, I'm embarrassed. I know, it's hokey, but this is my attempt to reach out. Please continue to call, email or text me (whichever is comfortable for you). I miss my mom terribly and she wanted us to continue to love each other. Even if I'm not contacting you, I may need to hear from you. In fact, if I don't pick up, try calling another family member or friend. They may need to hear from you too.

Last, please don't feel guilty if you haven't been available. I'm just letting you know that I want to hear from you!