Your birthday came and went and I didn't get you anything. Are you surprised? I remember you calling me on your birthday. You always did that, as if your children were too selfish to pick up the phone on your day. Jeez! You'd call at 7:30am! Give me a chance!
If you were here, I would have cleaned the entire house (we were at the beach to celebrate your birthday) and your kids, nephews, and nieces would have cooked you a delicious dinner. I would have made strawberry shortcake using pound cake. We wouldn't have much pomp and circumstance--I'm no good at that. In fact, the cake would probably look like a mess but I promise it would have tasted delicious. Your sisters would have provided you with special golf socks and shiny jewels.
Everyday during our week at the beach, you would have woken up hours before anyone else and silently watched TV as you tediously added stitches to your latest project. I might wake up early too and sit with you while I read my book. At times we'd stop our activities to chat. These early morning talks would invite a comfortable space for mother-daughter discussions. Unlike most times, I wouldn't feel threatened to respond the way you'd want me to. We'd talk about my frustrations with my sister or current boyfriend and your worries over my living situation. We'd mull over an argument you recently had with someone and decide a course of action. Try the 50 noncommittal phrases: "Oh, really?" "That sounds tough." Or just plain silence. You'd question me about my finances and I'd reassure you that I have it under control. However, later in the day you'll slip a little money into my hand saying, "This is just-in-case mad money. Use it just in case you're about to go mad."
We had the Cici Case Jersey Shore SMACK DOWN and it was quite fun. The cousins were partnered up and ran around the boardwalk completing tasks and getting our exercise. It was great bonding and I know you would have planed it just the way it was. It's important for us to honor you for your birthday. Your last wish was that we would continue loving each other. Although we did the SMACK DOWN, I felt like the celebration was lacking. I wanted to do more to honor you.
Then I realized that I do honor you. Everyday. Everyday that I eat a salad, everyday that I run an extra mile, everyday that I do good work, it's in your honor. (Wow, this quickly turned into that Bryan Adams song LOL)