Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A Note from Mom

Mother's Day left a bad taste in my mouth. I arrived at work on Monday morning trying to focus on the task at hand. As Aunt Sue put it, she was "feeling a bit emotionally hung over." So was I. I spent two days on cruise control--the farther I got from Mother's Day the better. After work on Tuesday I took a minute to chill before I left the parking lot. Hundreds of employees leave at the same time and there is always a jam getting out. It was a beautiful spring afternoon with a bright blue sky. The blue stretched unscathed all morning until a few clouds wafted in to dance around horizon. Stuffing trash and used tissues into a bag, I popped the glove box open to find this note:

Dear Maggie,
I am hoping that your
days are looking a bit
brighter for you. Know that
I love you, I am proud of
you, and I want the best
for you!
Love, Mom
I sucked air and tears instantly filled my eyes. I pushed my sunglasses closer to my face and glanced around the parking lot. Slinking into the driver's side, I hung my head in my lap. My mom would have wanted me to erase the touch of sadness surrounding Mother's Day. I thought of the interchange we had hours before she died when I told her that I'd be ok. I thought of the changes I'd made in leaps and bounds since October. And finally, I thought of the new bonds I share with my extended family.

Ok, Mom. Ok.

It's been a week since I rediscovered this note. My throat is tight as I write this but everyday is better. Everyday I feel a little happier. Everyday I feel like it is easier to be happy.