Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Ice Cream for Dinner

As a means to assert my independence, I used to eat ice cream and cookies in place of a meal. I'd call my mom and the conversation would go something like this:

Me: Hi, Mom! How's it going?

Mom: Good, I'm just headed out the door on my way to work. Wassup, G? (Yes, she would ALWAYS answer the phone, and yes, she would say things like "G")

Me: Well, I was just calling to tell you about my breakfast. I think I've really started the day off well.

Mom: Yeah? Tell me about it.

Me: I had a big freakin' bowl of ice cream and cookies! It was delicious!

Mom: Oh, that might mess up your appetite for the rest of the day.

Me: Yeah, it might but it was worth it and I'm going to be smiling all day about my ridiculous indulgence.

This was my way of proving that I could eat whatever I wanted regardless of what she insisted for me. As expected she pushed 5-a-day and plenty of protein. I had to find a way to rebel and this is almost as harmless as it gets.

I left work today in great spirits. I completed all my tasks and numerous times my coworkers and I doubled over with laughter. One of the very last lessons my mother taught me was that I don't have to save the world before I get to bed but I can do good work with good people and smile about it. Today I did that.

Everyday is still underscored with the loss of my mother and even though my heart was soaring with happiness, I decided to listen to the sad songs to think about mom. For the first time in a long time I told her I missed her; I told her it was a shame that she couldn't be here with me; and I told her I was happy and doing good work.

Today I ate a big bowl of ice cream and cookies for dinner. (Don't worry, I had a stupid big salad for lunch.) I relished in the sweet dessert, savoring each bite and wishing I could call my mom to share this joy with her. I am so grateful that I can have this moment and honor her in my own quirky way.

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