Me: Mom, I am really having an issue here. I feel a little funny. I think maybe I should see a doctor.
Mom: What do you mean?
Me: I don't feel quite right, and it started just yesterday.
Mom: Really? What's wrong exactly?
Me: I HAVE SPRING FEVER!
I would do this at college during my freshmen year after I'd spent the afternoon goofing off with the rugby team. I'd make this phone call after I'd gotten ahold of my coursework my sophomore year. I'd deliver this joke at the end of my junior year, when I felt overwhelmed by extracurriculars, but saw the end of the academic year approaching. When I'd taken my first career job, I'd call her as I sat outside for the first time after winter to enjoy my lunch. I wanted to share this joke with her last week as I rode around DC on my bike, stopping to peer up into the sun at Ulysses's face. I would have called her as I stood in front of the capital building, looking the length of the mall, and delivered this awful joke.