Why are Canadians blamed for everything?

by Cici Case

I think it has to do with the Canadian money. Every once in a while, I receive a Canadian coin in my change. I don't know how this happens as it is easy to tell the difference between a Canadian coin and a US coin. However, it is never noticed until I have an urgent craving for chocolate and only enough change for one measly 60 cent chocolate bar. I gather my coins and make my way to the vending machines. As the coins drop, I am almost savoring the sweet chocolate, until I detect that pathetic "dink" that signals the machine is not accepting one of the coins. Thinking I will be luckier next time, I retrieve the discarded coin from the change dispenser, eager to retry my efforts. Regrettably, I notice it is a Canadian coin. No way will that Canadian coin pass as a U.S coin, not even by this coinage machine's most rudimentary security device. Hence, I have no choice but to return to my desk, deflated and with my most basic and urgent craving left not satiated. What's that you say? "Just ask your neighbor for an exchange. Ask to trade for a new coin." Alas, that ploy will not work, as the eyes of my colleagues, trained and professional skeptics will surely detect the presence of the impostor coin and their friendliness could not overcome their distain for the dreaded pretender. I suppose I will simply have to wait to pass off this Canadian coin to some other unsuspecting dupe in some later financial transaction.

On the other hand, I could save up these pretend coins and mail them periodically to my Canadian friends. Only then could I redeem my soul from my periodic and unkind thoughts of blaming Canada!